Wednesday, December 2, 2009

weights and measures.

How is it that you're the one person I can be heartbroken for but still want to throttle?  I want to hug you and shake you.  Hold you with one hand and smack you with the other.

Falling for you has always been easy.  You've known that no matter what I'd be there to catch you.  Sometimes I wonder if maybe at some point, I should've let you fall.  Saying we've been through some shit would be an understatement.  Even so, I've tried to protect you as best I could.

I never want the world to harm you or taint your childlike purity with it's cruel, dirty hands.  I have done things.  Things I would do in a heartbeat again to keep the realities of the world from seeping onto you.  But I can't help but wonder, especially after tonight, if I've done you a disservice?

All these years standing guard, but for whose benefit? Certainly not yours, if so you'd not be so ill prepared for all of this.

With the current situation I can't do things behind the scenes like I normally would.  I would have to help where you could see.  And that is worse than doing nothing.  Then you would know, you would look back and see me just behind the curtain everytime before.

So I nail myself down right here and let you go.  Let you live and all that comes with it.  I feel a great and consuming sorrow for the hurt you are soon to endure.  But I am hoping that by your side, rather than carrying you, that I can help you to stand taller.  Help you to become all I know you can.

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