Unsettled

So after 15 minutes of bawling like a fricken child I am finally calm enough to....to...IDFK breathe? think properly?  whateverthefuck.  didn't even get 40 minutes of sleep in before I woke up screaming.  (not to mention woke everyone in my house and probably a two block radius.)   It's been a long time since it's been like this.  I guess it was too much wishing that these kind in particular had stopped completely.  and God, I'm tired.  so fricken tired, but I'm afraid to sleep.  How pansy-assed is that?!  I just can't handle the things I see.