Lost under the surface

Been having some difficulty lately.  Writing. Living. Feeling.  It's like the second something is expected of me, I am no longer interested in following through.  I will drop it and let it all fall, break it into a millions peices. And all just so you know that I can't be trusted with it. I want to take your expectations, your heart, and set it all on fire.  Then make you watch it burn. Make sure you know never to entrust me with them again. 

This is wrong.

I know this is wrong.

But God, it would feel so good.  At least while I was doing it. 

I'm sure afterward, I'd hate myself. But you would hate me more.

that's all that matters

that was the point

Even so, I never will.  Because ultimately, I'm a selfish asshole.  I will keep you.  I want you here with me. 

It's not that I dont know how.  Because I do, all too well.  I've done this before.

But not with you.

So until then...

"I will never let you fall.  I'll stand up with you forever.

  I'll be there for you through it all.  Even if saving you sends me to heaven."

god this resounds of pathetic emo bullshit.

you'd do well to ignore it.

time passes.