Directions

I think about it sometimes, how different my life would be if I had taken another path.  If I had moved a fraction of an inch in either direction, I would not be standing where I am now.  Sure there are things I would REALLY like to not have gone through, but if I didn't I wouldn't be anyone even resembling who I am today. 

I think about the million different ways I've been pulled, tossed, and turned in my life.  Some I saw the reason for, others just not at the time, and some I'm still waiting on an explanation for.   But I wouldn't have wanted anything different.  I truly like who I am as a person, and if I had to go through that all again I would. 

Sure there are things about me that aren't the most desirable traits.   I'm stubborn as hell.  I WILL let you know when you are being an asshole, when you need to STFU & stop complaining, & when that dress makes you look fucking huge.  I've got a temper on me like you won't believe. Mostly because you won't see it that often, I'm very emotionally controlled.  But when you hit a nerve, clear the fucking room.  It's still waters one second and raging rapids the next.  In those moments I will not refrain from saying anything on my mind, or attempt to word it in a gentle way.  You are totally fucked.  But like I said it's a VERY rare occurrance. 

But there are things about me that I think are really good.  I can tell how you're feeling & exactly what you need without you having to say a word.  I know when to shut up and when to offer advice.  I have a way of listening that lends itself to you solving your own problem without even knowing it's happening.  I am fiercely loyal to those I love and will do damn near anything for them.  I have a knack for making people laugh.  (I have no clue how or why.) 

All that said, I really do like who I am.  If I could I would track down every person who has changed me and led me along my path.  I would find them and thank them.  Even the ones who caused me grief and pain. Actually, I think I would thank those people twice.  Because they are the ones who really did a number on me, and carved my path the deepest.  I owe them the most.  *note to self, look into fruit baskets....*

So now I look at the road I'm on.  You think I would hesitate my next step, but no.  I take it with all that much more conviction.  It's life.  There are no do-overs, no rewind button.  It could be my last step and I don't want to do it half-assed.  So here I go down this ever changing path, doin a little left foot, right foot.